In 2003, some time after George W. Bush announced the start of the Iraq war, I made the executive decision to move to Canada. At the time I was 18 and impulsive and I figure I’m allowed to make those kind of crazy decisions up until I reach the magic age of 30. Prior to 30, my assumption is that you’re still learning how to stand on two feet. After then, you should probably know better. This kind of skewed, misguided determination lead me to Canada and it’s probably the reason that I’m still here.
My life has been so tumultuous and dizzy since then, and I’m living in Canada as I had originally planned. I’m making a life for myself in the only way I know how, and that’s to say that I really have no idea what I’m doing. Opportunities beset themselves upon me and I take them as they come, with the same awkwardly reckless ineptitude that I showed 6 years ago. Since then, I’ve wiggled my way through a number of extraordinary situations, and I’ve moved too many times to count. I can hardly remember my last three postal codes (or zip codes, as they’re called in the States) and I still pepper my sentences with U’s that would be otherwise misplaced in my homeland.
Life as an immigrant is so awkward sometimes, if only because being from the States instantly makes you the target of stupid jokes and hen-pecking as only one can imagine. I still make the mistake of assuming that Canadians will see me as an equal, but once they learn my secret, if I may cliché, it’s like being a big fish getting shot in a small barrel. The jokes are all too easy, despite the minute differences between our two nations. I’m not an equal, and I live with that every day. I’ve learned that any unnatural or un-Canadian slip-up makes you a target in unimaginable ways. Other than the mire of bureaucracy, I’ve found this to be the only negative part of being an immigrant.
Life as an immigrant, however, has rewards that are almost impossible to tally. I say that with a bit of pride because I feel like my Canadian experience is so much more colourful and exciting than that of someone who was born here. There are magical things about Canada that, to a native countryman, are invisible and thoughtless. To me, these positives are so much sweeter because I’m only now discovering them as an adult who has had to work for each and every moment. The excitement of getting your first social insurance number, or a piece of paper that says you’re allowed to hold a job- these aren’t the kind of experiences that a native Canadian will ever have, and they will never feel the flip-flops one’s heart makes when you see a stamp in your passport that lets you live another year in your adoptive homeland. It means you have another year to explore, and experience, a different world.
All of this disjointed rambling has one core concept that has driven me for the past few years, and that’s the concept of taking opportunities as they come, and then discovering a new world through those unique experiences. Though the ‘Canadian Experience’ may be similar for so many immigrants to this country- learning the customs and history of Canada- the true experience lies in what decisions you choose to make throughout your lifetime in a new, different world. Canada is a special place to me because I’ve made it a special place; in reality it’s so similar to the States that sometimes I can’t tell whether I’ve woken up in Philadelphia or Vancouver. The people here are good because I’ve found good people, and the food and music and art is good because I’ve tried to find all of the best examples that the country has to offer. Because I’m an immigrant, I have to be constantly searching for the good. It will never come naturally, or unconsciously.
If I were to complain about anything, it would be pointless. I can always go ‘home,’ but ‘home’ is not the place I want to be. I am home, because this is the place I want it to be.
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Comments ( 4 )
And to you I say….”Welcome Home, I’m glad you’re here!”
Happy Canada Day Stephanie
Leah added these pithy words on
Jul 01 09 at
11:31
Even though I’ve known you were American for ages, it always slips my mind, and I think it’s because you have really adopted Vancouver as your home so thoroughly. I’m glad you want to be here, cause I’m pretty sure I can say on many peoples’ behalves (behalfs?) that it wouldn’t be the same without you!
Ariane added these pithy words on
Jul 01 09 at
22:55
I too am an immigrant to BC, however from the UK not the US (both were guilty in the Iraq war mind you.) I found your comments rather thought provoking, and I too found it awesome when I got my SIN! I’ve only been here 2 weeks but I’m already finding myself adopting this place as my home
JamesInCanada added these pithy words on
Jul 06 09 at
15:18
I found your twitter through a search for “lifestream”… came across your site and this post. I am intrigued by the concept of living abroad but the challenges you speak of (particularly the bureaucratic kind) are overwhelming. Plus, I really like living in hot Austin, TX.
Anyway, just wanted to say hello.
Jessica
Jessica Mullen added these pithy words on
Aug 07 09 at
06:55