Stephanie Vacher

do you talk just to hear yourself speak?

i have a problem with my right ear, i’ve had it for quite a while now and have seen a few doctors in canada, but none have made any effort* to help me, so i can only hear about 2/3 of what you say when you talk to me. everything else is interference, noise that sounds like i’m swimming in a fishbowl- watery and echoing. this doesn’t bother me much, it stands as more of a talking point or one of those curious things about me that people become surprised to know. at any rate, i don’t consider it terribly important except when stuck in noisy situations like clubs and concerts. but this has led me to wonder about the importance of listening to others, and what information i should feel comfortable enough to let slide versus what information is important enough to request a revisit. this comes mostly in the form of a “huh?” or “speak clearly” to the mumblers. you know who you are. for the love of god, annunciate!

it’s difficult to quantify the importance of senses; if i were to lose 1/3 of my eyesight, i would go completely insane. to lose 1/3 of my hearing, however, is only a minor nuisance in the total quality of my life. my uncle, a mortician, lost his sense of smell. because smell is so closely connected to taste, this means he’s lost a significant portion of his sense of taste. suddenly, chocolate has been reduced to pure bitterness. to me, that’s hell on earth- but he lives with it, he keeps on keepin’ on. he is a god among men. perhaps, though, this means that he can now appreciate other tastes that much more. i’ve heard interesting hypotheses about certain senses taking precedence in the loss of another. for me, i’ve learned to listen more intently, and find importance in the sentences that roll so easily off of the tongues of others.

in the end, i’ve determined that most of the words that many people say are completely unnecessary. how unnerving it is to be paying absolute attention to someone else when the only word i can hear is “like.” i now live in a world of eternal likes and umms, and it’s disappointing to put so much effort into listening to someone if they only give me garbage. this may seem simple, but keep it in mind. people complain consistently about filler, like filler blog entries, or filler in sandwiches (who likes sprouts, anyway?)

perhaps, if people thought more about what was coming out of their mouth, they would find that they have very little to say at all. this is why we admire the quiet, and the silent. this is why calvin coolidge was such a cool president.

*much as i appreciate my free healthcare here in the northland, i’ve found that outside of care for sudden and tumultuous accidents, you get what you pay for. unless you’re bleeding profusely, don’t bother.

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Comments ( 4 )

As I’m sure you’re well aware that you’re not alone in your loss. I too have experienced a recent loss in the sensitivity of my hearing. All of the white noise that makes up our surroundings has become an obstacle to basic communication. I find myself making choices such as walking on less travelled streets to avoid the hum of traffic which results in an inability to understand others walking/talking with me.

I dare say that your criticism of the waste in what people have to say to you is inaccurate. Perhaps their choice of words is poor but I dare say that we can find value in just about anything shared. I’ve found that observing all of the other wonderful ways that we communicate beyond simple words has proven to be far more rewarding. Perhaps there’s a bunch of “umms” and “ahhs” but I’ve often found that there’s also a sparkle in their eyes, a grin on their lips or a tear in their eye.

Call it self-help “cheese” but I think we’ve been gifted with an opportunity to communicate in a way that makes our lives far more rich. Consider joining me in embracing all the great things that people are saying to us in ways that I’m sure most are not aware of.

Dee added these pithy words on Feb 01 08 at 20:14

hi dee, very rad blog you have:

i agree with you 100%. the value of a conversation that goes beyond words is indescribable. i think that everyone should feel capable of appreciating the nonverbal elements that go hand-in-hand with conversation, but i also believe that should serve as a fair warning to others to give consideration to the words they choose that provide the basis for those conversations.

there are innumerable wonderful things in this world, and i want to experience all of them. for us, not being able to hear as well as the next person can be regarded just as much as a gift as it is a disability. you’re damn-right-on with that one. but as much as i’d love to embrace a more vibrantly sensed world, i think it’s also worth establishing to people who might not think beyond their privileges, and who think it’s okay to litter words.

stephanie vacher added these pithy words on Feb 02 08 at 00:25

STEPH, I LIKE SPROUTS!

get the smoked turkey sandwich on rye at sollys next time with sprouts. MAKE SURE TO ASK FOR NO PICKLES CAUSE IT COMES WIth AND YOU COULD DIE.ONONON

get it. spouts and you can make out.

also im going to mumble all the important things to you. (lie)

erin reiger added these pithy words on Feb 04 08 at 01:29